challenged once again..

8:35 express to the city via circular quay

after my moments of standing i got my seat. And it was that time again, reflecting. I dont know what caused me to think of what i was thinking but it just came. For the time i was hanging out with them ive often felt drained and frustrated, often "babying" them. I was put off. I felt tired having to "baby" them. This feeling bothered me and i just wanted to get away from it all.. my mind was just going to all of these random places ..

...but we don't bat an eyelid when the 'fringe-dweller' or 'pew-sitter-in-the-last-row' just drifts away?or we even feel relief when the 'trouble-maker' or 'non-conformist' packs it in and goes to another church...

..they would tell him not to hang around with "those type" but to hang with them.

I then thought of that person during the time when they attempted to socialise with people but failing and retreating in anger and sadness. Thinking of it now in my head really saddens me. I didnt know what to do at the time nor do i think if "these" people knew how to deal with this person either maybe coz he seemed so "different".

Has God challenged me once again to think through of this all?

I remember after being a Christian in year9 i often felt the sense of having to help people out coz it was just the right thing to do. A classmate of mine at the time lent me his CD player to listen at a carnival. I then let another person listen to it and not long after it was gone. I was pretty gutted for it to happen and it seemed so careless to do such a thing because theft was common at carnivals. I forked out $200 for this CD player which was a lot of money.. i mean i could've chosen not to and have gotten the person i lent to deal with it. But a side of me wouldnt have wanted that done to me, nor want to see other suffer.

I spose this goes back to our friend in the first story..the one that most people find it hard to get to know. Inside of me tells me to help out this guy as seeing him like this really does make me sad.. to see him try and get shot down and feeling misery. I spose sometimes this looks the same when we relate to our parents or even God..