flatline

i used to feel pretty flatline.. it would take a bit to get me high and a bit to get me down. but this week has felt pretty up and down. it must be the grey skies, discouragement, mundaneness and the PESing..

give me sun already! i need my seritonin hit! (arrrgghhhhhhhhhh!) Beach @ whale beach - boxing day. Come along all! Need a lift, gimme a yell

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

And from a hectic last week i feel a lot stronger. There was no blue monday/tuesday experience this week as opposed to last. I feel a lot more comfort this week and emotionally stronger. The sky dive did not heal the gap. Hanging out with God and His people did.

I look forward to more hanging out.

Killer's note: I'm a piece of shit. Now I'll be famous

Robert Hawkins, the 19- or 20-year-old man who shot eight people dead in a US shopping mall, left a note saying he'd been a piece of shit all of his life and "now I'll be famous", his landlord said.

Hawkins opened fire at a busy department store in Omah, Nebraska, today, killing eight people and wounding five others - two critically - before killing himself.

Hawkins's friend and landlady Debora Maruca-Kovac told CNN she received a call from an upset Hawkins before the shooting in which he told her he'd left a note "explaining everything".

When she tried to get him to explain, he put down the phone.

Maruca-Kovac said she went to Hawkins's room and read the note.

"He just said how he was sorry for everything, that he didn't want to be a burden any longer to anybody, that he loved his family and he loved all of his friends.

"He said he was a piece of shit all his life and now he'll be famous."

She said the exact words "I'll be famous" were written in the note.

Maruca-Kovac had taken Hawkins in after he was kicked out by his family about a year ago, and Hawkins knew her sons.

"When he first came in the house, he was introverted, a troubled young man who was like a lost pound puppy that nobody wanted," she told CNN.

Hawkins had recently been fired from his job at McDonald's and had recently broken up with a girlfriend, she said.

She said authorities were alerted about the note and she went to work.

Hours later, Maruca-Kovac said, she saw victims being brought in to the Nebraska Medical Centre, where she works.

Oasis - The Masterplan

best song heard from Noel Gallagher so far.

Take the time to make some sense
Of what you want to say
And cast your words away upon the waves
Sail them home with Acquiesce
On a ship of hope today
And as they land upon the shore
Tell them not to fear no more
Say it loud and sing it proud today
And then dance if you want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know they're gonna go
Which way they wanna go
We know is that we don't know
How it's gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand won't let us understand
We're all part of the masterplan
Say it loud and sing it proud today
I'm not saying right is wrong
It's up to us to make
The best of all the things that come our way
Cos everything that's been has past
The answer's in the looking glass
There's four and twenty million doors
On life's endless corridor
Say it loud and sing it proud today
Will dance if they want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know they're gonna go
Which way they wanna go
We know is that we don't know
How it's gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand won't let you understand
We're all part of the masterplan

yeah

i felt pretty dry 2nite. i dont know what it was. maybe it was from an ok sermon. i wanted to go dayspring this morning but didnt get around to it as i had a late ish nite hanging with a mate at starcity and getting to know some new ppl. was pretty cool (ask me about it).

So on the way home from karaoke this dryness lingered on. I played 'Only Jesus' and i felt this joy.. im still learning to rest in God rather using other ways to fill 'this' gap.