i finally got done for speeding!

nooooooooooooooooooooo..

i now know there are 2 cameras to where i commonly venture through. Sydney harbour tunnell southbound during the flattest points in this area and the cahill expressway after the kings cross/rushcutters/vaucluse exits/areas..

$77 and 3 demerit points.. it coulda been worse.. i need to slooooooooooow down!

being idle

as of late ive been feeling pretty idle.. what do i mean by that? the state of just drifting through the day feeling empty in the head..non responsive.. lacking emotion. Maybe its the shift work thats doing this to me.. it bothers me a bit.. i think back and feel rude being like this to people.. not responding or showing emotion.. being just 'idle' and blank..

.. i observed the way they carried themselves after their time consuming it.. they seemed anti-social and unwilling to take part in activities. I then later thought i had reached this state as well but i just think it was coincidence. Maybe i was just jumping to conclusions too quickly. I didnt enjoy activities as much as compared to the the darkened rooms, heavy synths and head banging basslines. Maybe it was just a comedown from this crazy ride i was going through.

A couple of years have passed. Im happy ive gotten off the crazy ride. I dreaded the environment, i was disgusted the way i carried myself in those environments and among THOSE people. The long amount of time i spent with her. It makes me sick just thinking about it now. But im so happy God was always there by my side right from the beginning. I dogged him but out of his grace and love he still picked me up in those rough moments.

Im not a big fan of cold weather.. i look forward to spring..the warm weather i really enjoy basking in. I want to go to the beach..i wanna feel that warmth again everyday..only a few months to get through.. i need some sleep..3hrs of sleep after a night shift is a joke.

I DONT wanna be

the other morning i was at the doctors in the waiting room and was just overhearing the conversations of some elderlies in their late 70s. One man's conversation with another woman wasn't anything new to what i've heard. Its the type of slagging you hear..the simple minded converstations people have. The stereotypes, the pre judgements of certain people. I figured maybe they had such opinions due to their upbringing..you could even say its a lack of education. The thing..its something i'd hate to have if I ever reach to that age. That simple mindedness..though I think the current young generation we're a lot open minded compared to our parents and granparents..

We live in such a society full of materalistic and non materialistic wants..in search of that relationship, those cool set of sneakers..that new car , whatever.. And then i was thinking.. there are things that i don't want to have in the coming years.. i don't wanna be that bitter person drowned by full time work. I don't wanna be that person that forgets about the people that i've grown to know..the one that doesnt return calls or return messages. I dont wanna be that simple minded person.. i don't want to be that person that just takes and not gives. To clearly sumarise it ..i dont want to be the person without God in my life..

Letters From War

I borrowed the Wow 2005 CD and was after some new music..after skimming through both CD's there was one song that really hooked me. The music is great, the singer's voice is great (uplifting and joyus) and more importantly the lyrics are touching as well. One section of the song that i really enjoy..

And she prayed he was liviiing

Kept on belieeeving

And wrote every night just to saaaay

You are goooood

And you're braaaave

What a father that you'll be somedaaaay

Make it hoooome

Make it saaafe

Still she kept writing each daay